Drug Test

In what could be one of my foolish decisions, I've taken on yet another part time job. This one is supposed to demand my attention only a couple of times a month, so I'm taking the chance that I'll be able to fit everything into one lifetime.

My new job requires that I undergo a drug screen. So last week, I studied and studied and went to take my drug test. What struck me was the procedures that had to be followed for it to be officially done right.

After I did the initial paperwork, on which every medical facility is fueled, I was led back to the testing area by a medical professional. In the room was a woman who was having some hair snipped from the back of her head. It could have been some kind of medical test, or maybe she just needed a trim, I don't know. I was pretty sure that I didn't have enough hair on my own head for any testing, so I was going to have to do it the old fashioned way.

My coat was taken and laid back in a corner. I was asked to empty my pockets and place the contents into a small lockable cabinet. Feeling lighter, stepped back to the nurse who then instructed me to rinse my hands without using soap. Then she gave me the choice of which cup I would like to use. Seeing no difference in the two, I closed my eyes and picked the one that my hand hit first. The nurse unwrapped it and showed me that there were no cracks in it. From her mannerisms, I was half expecting some sleight of hand. Maybe pull a dove out of the specimin cup. But no. She handed my the cup and began the test.

No number 2 pencils needed for this one.

Emerging from the restroom, I presented the now-full cup to the nurse and prepared to get my things out of the locker. But no. I had to stand there and watch her "grade my test", so to speak. She explained how it worked, as if I was going to test the next guy who walked in, carefully showing me every last detail.

Finally, the little boxes turned blue. Knowing that it wasn't a pregnancy test, I was now assured that I was drug-free. (Three hours of my time and about $20 worth of gas spent to find that one out.)

As I strapped into the pickup for the drive home, I considered all the extraneous activity surrounding the test. I knew full well that the reason why the procedure had to be followed was because there have been so many people who have tried to cheat. Although I hate to think about it, some folks have apparently tried to sneak in a "clean" sample while giving the impression it was their own. The thought makes me want to wash out my pockets.

Why do people cheat? Because they know that a test will show the truth about what they've been putting into their bodies. They fully understand that when the light of truth is shown on their lives (or specimins, as the case may be), the nasty stuff will show up as bright as day.

I think most people understand that any real examination of their lives will show some problems. Sure, there are some who try to redefine certain actions as good and right, and a few of those have fooled themselves into believing it. But most everyone understands the lack of perfection in their lives. If there would be a test to show the presence of sin, they know the squares won't show up the right color.

The solution isn't to try to cover up the impurities or to justify the presence of nasty stuff by pointing to everyone else. The solution is to use someone else's sample.

"Thank you, Lord Jesus, for allowing me to use your perfect record instead of my own tainted life."