Monday, May 08, 2006

The Problem With "How To Get Here"

Back at it again. It's a searcher's paradise, and these are the roads they used to get here:

2006 email contact of rich pastors in north of usa - Oh, and could you filter that list down to just the ones who will donate a few thousand to my favorite "cause"?

how to turn a small church from half full to full of people - Make Oprah your pastor.

cute single guys under 15 - I'm hoping this was just a search by some lovesick teenage girl trying to find my 14 year old son. I think. On second thought, I really can't see much good coming out of this string at all.

how to make a weapon by a pen - Ink drawings? Well, I'm not exactly gifted in that area, but I can draw a pretty mean stick figure...

cross instrument of death - Just out of curiosity, are we talking about Cross Pens? If so, see above search string.

how does tanya tucker feel about homosexual people - I'm not sure. Just don't give Tanya a pen!

the antichrist behind the XX winter olympic games - It's good to see that Tim LaHaye is still releasing books...

bassett hound purpose - I'm guessing it has something to do with the effective dispersal of jowl slobber in the average house.

One last thing...

As I look through the search strings which land people at Attention Span, I'm often disappointed to see strings beginning with "sermons on..." I've seen "sermons on grace" and "sermons on sin" and "sermons on unconditional love". I'm guessing that these aren't from people who are looking to be preached to (or preached at) via the world wide web. I'd bet dollars to donuts (whatever that means) that these searches are from pastors, desperate for a decent sermon to deliver on Sunday morning.

Before I cast too many stones, I do understand that some weeks are just too draining to spend hours upon hours pouring over Scripture and commentaries and lexicons. It's mentally exhausting to find illustrations and applications every single week. I've been there, facing the same temptations. But let me say also that as a pastor, this is what we are called to do.

Living in a microwave world, we almost come to expect a source for easy answers, easy solutions. So why is it so tempting to take the easy way out? Why are pastors googling instead of praying? Pastor, any sermon you find online isn't as good as the sermon God wants you to preach. You'll find it in the Bible long before you find it on the Internet.

Let this be the scolding some pastors need. Or let it be the encouragement. Either way, preacher. Get off google and get back to the Book.


julie said...

"cute single guys under 15"? Call me silly, but I thought ALL guys under 15 were single in this country.

Diane said...

"Get off google and get back to the Book."

Come on, you've got to make that into a t-shirt! ;-)

Truthfully, that applies to us all not just you pastors.

Dan Edelen said...

The Olympics/antichrist googling was, of course, a desperate attempt to locate my post "And Now for the Worst Possible Worship..." over at Cerulean Sanctum.

I hope they found something better here than the usual angry-white-male-Christian tripe I dish up.

{You of course realize that now you'll get hits for "angry white male Christian" thanks to this comment. Ha! My plan is succeeding! Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah!}