As a small church pastor, I want to call everyone's attention to this post at The Discipler about the advantages and disadvantages of a small church. These are pretty much dead-on. (A tip of the ol' ball cap to Todd at Monday Morning Insight.)
And don't miss out on the latest edition of the Christian Carnival at Wittenburg Gate.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Friday, November 04, 2005
Membership Issues
This post dovetails with my last post, Success, and expands upon a post over at Wesley Blog on the problem in many churches of membership rolls being packed with people who rarely, if ever, set foot in the church building. Some churches never have to deal with such issues. The Church of God, Anderson, Indiana, has absolutely no church membership. Sometimes I envy that position. A friend of mine is a transplant in a COG,AI church and I keep asking him, "Hey, have they made you a member yet?" I don't get a huge guffaw from him, but we both smile at the whole issue.
The truth is that church membership these days isn't seen as any great advantage. Perhaps if you want to serve on the board or take some special ministry position, you'll need to take on membership. More often than not though, folks don't see the point. I understand that mindset. I've often said that if you're looking for an advantage to church membership, I can think of none aside from voting in church elections. Big whoop.
But the part we forget is that church membership is a priviledge. An agreement to become a church member is to say that not only do you identify yourself through Such And Such Church, but you choose to participate in that church's ministry -- using the advantage of the organized church to help you serve God. It's not about the priviledge of membership, it's the priviledge of joining together with like-minded believers to accomplish the work of Christ. Of course, if you're not interested in accomplishing the work of Christ, then membership probably holds no appeal for you.
And so these days, we see fewer people interested in becoming new members and plenty of people wanting to hold on to their membership status. Check the membership roll of most any mainline or evangelical church and you'll find a large percentage of members who don't darken the doors of the church except Christmas, Easter, and perhaps Church Election Day. The responsibilities of membership mean nothing to them -- their care is only for a rank of priviledge when they decide to use it.
A couple of years ago, I decided that we needed to weed out a few names from the roll at my church. I had been the pastor for over six years, and I figured if I hadn't met any of these people, then they probably have no business being on our membership roll. So I sent a letter to a dozen or so strangers telling them that since they don't attend anymore I was assuming they have become a part of another church. I told them I was removing their names from membership working from that assumption. I did give them thirty days to get back with me if they wished to remain on our rolls. Surprisingly no one got back to me.
What I did was rare among churches. Rarer still are the churches which actually follow church discipline and on a regular basis remove members who are not a part of the church. Why is it so rare? For one, churches are afraid to tell people that they aren't living up to their end of the bargain. We certainly can't tell them they aren't behaving as members should, can we? Most of the time, those people won't accept that reasoning. I have read obituaries of people whom I know were not members of a particular church, only to read about their "current membership" in Such And Such Church right there in black and white. Membership means little more than a private identification with one particular church -- whether the church is let in on the secret or not!
The other reason why churches rarely purge the membership roll goes back to the idea of success. If the denominational leadership sees a church's membership numbers fall off, it is assumed that that church must have a huge problem. Membership is a boasting point for many churches. In the post at Wesley Blog, some of the discussion focuses on the United Methodist claims of a certain number of members worldwide. Most everyone would admit that those figures are horrible indicators of church attendance, but still some will view membership as a good barometer of church health. Pastors and church boards avoid purging the roll so the church itself won't be called to account. That's a pity because to my way of thinking, a church who will purge the membership roll is probably healthier than most. At the very least, that church is taking on an issue where too many denominational angels fear to tread.
So is there a solution? I'm not sure. I think a church should present the priviledge of church membership and not downplay it, but at the same time uphold certain minimal standards to maintain membership. The solution I've dreamed up is the renewable church membership. Instead of assuming that a member will remain an active part of the ministry of the church until his funeral, set up a membership agreement that will expire at the end of two years. After that time, another agreement can be signed provided the member hasn't fallen into an unnecessary inactive mode. Members who joined for status or in a rush of temporary conviction would have to re-examine themselves periodically. Churches would have a good reason to make sure all members have the opportunity to use the gifts God has given them. And membership rolls would be free of those who haven't met the pastor after six years.
Curiously, my own denomination has taken this same approach with local churches within the denomination itself. The churches must now sign a two year covenant to remain a part of the organization. Of course I had this idea first, but never put it into force. I should have copyrighted the thing and sent church headquarters a bill! But the idea is the same -- push the realization that a committment to membership in a local church or a denomination is an ongoing relationship, not a one shot sign-up.
My advice for people considering church membership is simple: make sure you can live within that church and under that church's authority, and live up to what you promise for as long as God gives you the strength to do it. Being a church member is a priviledge. I consider it a priviledge to serve along side the members of my church, working to bring glory to God and be His hands and feet on this earth.
The truth is that church membership these days isn't seen as any great advantage. Perhaps if you want to serve on the board or take some special ministry position, you'll need to take on membership. More often than not though, folks don't see the point. I understand that mindset. I've often said that if you're looking for an advantage to church membership, I can think of none aside from voting in church elections. Big whoop.
But the part we forget is that church membership is a priviledge. An agreement to become a church member is to say that not only do you identify yourself through Such And Such Church, but you choose to participate in that church's ministry -- using the advantage of the organized church to help you serve God. It's not about the priviledge of membership, it's the priviledge of joining together with like-minded believers to accomplish the work of Christ. Of course, if you're not interested in accomplishing the work of Christ, then membership probably holds no appeal for you.
And so these days, we see fewer people interested in becoming new members and plenty of people wanting to hold on to their membership status. Check the membership roll of most any mainline or evangelical church and you'll find a large percentage of members who don't darken the doors of the church except Christmas, Easter, and perhaps Church Election Day. The responsibilities of membership mean nothing to them -- their care is only for a rank of priviledge when they decide to use it.
A couple of years ago, I decided that we needed to weed out a few names from the roll at my church. I had been the pastor for over six years, and I figured if I hadn't met any of these people, then they probably have no business being on our membership roll. So I sent a letter to a dozen or so strangers telling them that since they don't attend anymore I was assuming they have become a part of another church. I told them I was removing their names from membership working from that assumption. I did give them thirty days to get back with me if they wished to remain on our rolls. Surprisingly no one got back to me.
What I did was rare among churches. Rarer still are the churches which actually follow church discipline and on a regular basis remove members who are not a part of the church. Why is it so rare? For one, churches are afraid to tell people that they aren't living up to their end of the bargain. We certainly can't tell them they aren't behaving as members should, can we? Most of the time, those people won't accept that reasoning. I have read obituaries of people whom I know were not members of a particular church, only to read about their "current membership" in Such And Such Church right there in black and white. Membership means little more than a private identification with one particular church -- whether the church is let in on the secret or not!
The other reason why churches rarely purge the membership roll goes back to the idea of success. If the denominational leadership sees a church's membership numbers fall off, it is assumed that that church must have a huge problem. Membership is a boasting point for many churches. In the post at Wesley Blog, some of the discussion focuses on the United Methodist claims of a certain number of members worldwide. Most everyone would admit that those figures are horrible indicators of church attendance, but still some will view membership as a good barometer of church health. Pastors and church boards avoid purging the roll so the church itself won't be called to account. That's a pity because to my way of thinking, a church who will purge the membership roll is probably healthier than most. At the very least, that church is taking on an issue where too many denominational angels fear to tread.
So is there a solution? I'm not sure. I think a church should present the priviledge of church membership and not downplay it, but at the same time uphold certain minimal standards to maintain membership. The solution I've dreamed up is the renewable church membership. Instead of assuming that a member will remain an active part of the ministry of the church until his funeral, set up a membership agreement that will expire at the end of two years. After that time, another agreement can be signed provided the member hasn't fallen into an unnecessary inactive mode. Members who joined for status or in a rush of temporary conviction would have to re-examine themselves periodically. Churches would have a good reason to make sure all members have the opportunity to use the gifts God has given them. And membership rolls would be free of those who haven't met the pastor after six years.
Curiously, my own denomination has taken this same approach with local churches within the denomination itself. The churches must now sign a two year covenant to remain a part of the organization. Of course I had this idea first, but never put it into force. I should have copyrighted the thing and sent church headquarters a bill! But the idea is the same -- push the realization that a committment to membership in a local church or a denomination is an ongoing relationship, not a one shot sign-up.
My advice for people considering church membership is simple: make sure you can live within that church and under that church's authority, and live up to what you promise for as long as God gives you the strength to do it. Being a church member is a priviledge. I consider it a priviledge to serve along side the members of my church, working to bring glory to God and be His hands and feet on this earth.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Success
There are a lot of bloggers posting about be successful all of a sudden. It has kind of spread like avian flu. Charlie, over at Another Think was tossing the idea around a little in this post, where he eventually asks, "How do you define success in your life?" Realizing that the context was about being "a successful blogger," this was my reply:
The trick here is to set a goal that pleases God, not simply one that makes us feel important.
If we let the world (or even others) determine if we are "successful" in their eyes, we find ourselves looking to please others rather than God.
Let's extend this idea to the local church. A few of us in my denomination have wrestled with the whole idea of measuring success in a congregation. We are issued a couple of trees' worth of paper forms to fill out each year, reporting facts and figures as the pastor observes them. The basics are listed: worship attendance, Sunday School attendance, membership, annual budget figures, number of conversions, number of pastoral calls, lists of ministry books read by the pastor... it goes on and on. Then these numbers are used to determine how well a church is doing. How healthy can a church be if the attendance is going down? How healthy can a church be if no one was converted in the church all year? How healthy can a church be if there are almost no specialized programs taking place within the church walls?
You see the problem here? The world is determining the church's success. OK, maybe it's the denomination or outside Christian observers, but it doesn't seem to be the Creator.
I have no problem with statistics. I'm a stat nut at times. Just watch me research potential players for my fantasy football teams, and you'll see. But even the most esteemed experts can't consistently tell a great player from a below average player based on statistics. Somewhere I have a quote from an executive from an NBA team, spoken during the early 1980's. He talked about the player he really wanted in that year's draft who was destined to be a star. That player was taken by another team before this executive got his pick. Disheartened, he took an admitted "lesser player," thinking that maybe this guy was better than nothing. The player who was snatched up by another team turned out to be a "bust" -- he accomplished next to nothing in his short professional career. The "lesser player" the executive was forced into taking was a guy from North Carolina named Michael Jordan.
The point is, statistics can help us see various aspects of "success" but number cannot tell the whole story. My church hasn't reported many conversions to Jesus Christ in the eight years I have been here. Admittedly, I don't really know what qualifies as a "church conversion." What about the kids who accept Christ at church camp? What about kids like mine who have grown up in the church? When are they to be reported as "converted"? I honestly don't know. But I know that reading the reports from my church about "conversions" certainly doesn't give the whole story.
I don't deny that the Great Commission is part of what a church is to accomplish. But by the same token, a church's duty is more than simply evangelism. We must disciple and instruct people in their faith. We must encourage one another. We must look for ways to share God's love with those who refuse Him. A friend of mine has argued that the church's measure of success should be the Great Commandment, not the Great Commission. Certainly it's a point of debate, but because of all the overlap between the two Greats, ignoring either is dangerous. Defining success as a church as simply "number of converts" is as incomplete as measuring by "number of unchurched people smiled at."
But if we let our Creator define success, we must remember passages like 1 Corinthians 3:5-8:
I fully realize that some use this kind of logic to excuse laziness. That I fully condemn. But in the same way, we must understand our call to do everything to bring glory to God. And that doesn't always mean a crowd at the altar at the end of the service.
Am I a successful blogger? You bet. After all, I set the criteria for success.
Am I a successful Christian? Not so much. The criteria for success comes from my Creator. And I pray for the strength to live up to the purpose He has intended for me.
The concept of being "a sucessful blogger" is so foreign to me. To me, be sucessful is doing everything in my life to the glory of God. It is what I strive for. Blogging is just one part of it. So is mowing the lawn.
Now I understand the point of the piece. And Charlie was right when he pointed out how the desire to be noticed or to make money can really obscure the message of Christ we (usually) proclaim. But I think we get can so caught up in navel gazing and glorifying ourselves, that we miss the reason that we are supposed to be doing everything. In short, we get caught up in the worldly definition of success.
Dictionary.com defines it this way:
1: an event that accomplishes its intended purpose;
2: an attainment that is successful;
3: a state of prosperity or fame;
4: a person with a record of successes;
Looking at these definitions, we can see what the world considers as worthy accomplishments. And you see from definition number one that the creator is the one who truly defines success. In the case of Attention Span, this blog is a success if it accomplishes what I intend it to accomplish. Period. I have control. If my stated intention is to be a "large mammal" or a "higher being" in the ecosystem, then to be a success I must set that kind of goal. If my intended purpose is provide a place to post teapot cake pictures, then that is the grid by which I determine the blog's success.The trick here is to set a goal that pleases God, not simply one that makes us feel important.
If we let the world (or even others) determine if we are "successful" in their eyes, we find ourselves looking to please others rather than God.
Let's extend this idea to the local church. A few of us in my denomination have wrestled with the whole idea of measuring success in a congregation. We are issued a couple of trees' worth of paper forms to fill out each year, reporting facts and figures as the pastor observes them. The basics are listed: worship attendance, Sunday School attendance, membership, annual budget figures, number of conversions, number of pastoral calls, lists of ministry books read by the pastor... it goes on and on. Then these numbers are used to determine how well a church is doing. How healthy can a church be if the attendance is going down? How healthy can a church be if no one was converted in the church all year? How healthy can a church be if there are almost no specialized programs taking place within the church walls?
You see the problem here? The world is determining the church's success. OK, maybe it's the denomination or outside Christian observers, but it doesn't seem to be the Creator.
I have no problem with statistics. I'm a stat nut at times. Just watch me research potential players for my fantasy football teams, and you'll see. But even the most esteemed experts can't consistently tell a great player from a below average player based on statistics. Somewhere I have a quote from an executive from an NBA team, spoken during the early 1980's. He talked about the player he really wanted in that year's draft who was destined to be a star. That player was taken by another team before this executive got his pick. Disheartened, he took an admitted "lesser player," thinking that maybe this guy was better than nothing. The player who was snatched up by another team turned out to be a "bust" -- he accomplished next to nothing in his short professional career. The "lesser player" the executive was forced into taking was a guy from North Carolina named Michael Jordan.
The point is, statistics can help us see various aspects of "success" but number cannot tell the whole story. My church hasn't reported many conversions to Jesus Christ in the eight years I have been here. Admittedly, I don't really know what qualifies as a "church conversion." What about the kids who accept Christ at church camp? What about kids like mine who have grown up in the church? When are they to be reported as "converted"? I honestly don't know. But I know that reading the reports from my church about "conversions" certainly doesn't give the whole story.
I don't deny that the Great Commission is part of what a church is to accomplish. But by the same token, a church's duty is more than simply evangelism. We must disciple and instruct people in their faith. We must encourage one another. We must look for ways to share God's love with those who refuse Him. A friend of mine has argued that the church's measure of success should be the Great Commandment, not the Great Commission. Certainly it's a point of debate, but because of all the overlap between the two Greats, ignoring either is dangerous. Defining success as a church as simply "number of converts" is as incomplete as measuring by "number of unchurched people smiled at."
But if we let our Creator define success, we must remember passages like 1 Corinthians 3:5-8:
What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor.Or John 4:36-38, from the lips of Jesus:
Even now the reaper draws his wages, even now he harvests the crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying 'One sows and another reaps' is true. I sent you to reap what you have not worked for. Others have done the hard work, and you have reaped the benefits of their labor.We need to keep in mind that, while we are all called to do His work, some are reapers and others are sowers. But they each work for the same team. We support one another. And each, if he or she does what God has assigned, will be successful. We set out to bring out our intended purpose, as determined by our Creator.
I fully realize that some use this kind of logic to excuse laziness. That I fully condemn. But in the same way, we must understand our call to do everything to bring glory to God. And that doesn't always mean a crowd at the altar at the end of the service.
Am I a successful blogger? You bet. After all, I set the criteria for success.
Am I a successful Christian? Not so much. The criteria for success comes from my Creator. And I pray for the strength to live up to the purpose He has intended for me.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Under the Radar
A pastor friend of mine officiated at a lonely funeral this week. The man died at age 84, leaving no family. He never married. Never had children. His only sister passed away long ago. His nieces and nephews wanted nothing to do with him. The only ones who cared were a few neighbors and his friends at church. The last I heard, there wasn't even anyone to pay for the funeral.
There is a silver lining to this dark cloud -- the man knew Christ as his Savior. His existance now is infinitely better than it was last week or last year. Yet we wonder about those who slip through the cracks. Well, at least I wonder.
Today is All Saints Day, a day where we celebrate the lives of those in the faith who came before us. Not just those with "St." in front of their names, like Augustine, Francis or Patrick, but all those who carried on in the faith. The "faith of our fathers," so to speak. Some gave their lives defending the doctrines of Christianity, and books like Foxe's Book of Martyrs publicize the gory details. But there are plenty more saints who are forgotten by history. Perhaps they are remembered by only a handful of family members.
Certainly the main goal of living the Christian life isn't fame. Some have fame thrust upon them by taking on the responsibility of the pastorate or leadership of some organization. Many others live their faith under the radar of the churched and unchurched alike.
I remember reading a quote from Billy Graham where someone asked him who he thought would have the greatest reward in heaven. The questioner was obviously trying to get a taste of pride from the evangelist. Instead, Rev. Graham suggested that it would probably be an older lady who spends her days in prayer for others. Someone you wouldn't expect. But maybe we should. After all, didn't Jesus tell us that if we want to be great, we must be less? The last shall become first, right?
I am thankful for the lives of those known perhaps only to God Himself, who lived faithful lives as godly influences on the people nearby. Also for the godly extended family who taught me the basics about Christ. And all those who sought to make themselves servants and fly under the radar -- not because they hid their faith, but because they did not seek the glory and gave it all to God Almighty. They have not slipped through the cracks, for God will reward what is done in secret. He is especially pleased when we don't seek a stroke for our egos, but instead acknowledge Him in everything. The deceased at the lonely funeral this week has been moved to the head table at the feast. For nothing escapes the notice of the Lord.
There is a silver lining to this dark cloud -- the man knew Christ as his Savior. His existance now is infinitely better than it was last week or last year. Yet we wonder about those who slip through the cracks. Well, at least I wonder.
Today is All Saints Day, a day where we celebrate the lives of those in the faith who came before us. Not just those with "St." in front of their names, like Augustine, Francis or Patrick, but all those who carried on in the faith. The "faith of our fathers," so to speak. Some gave their lives defending the doctrines of Christianity, and books like Foxe's Book of Martyrs publicize the gory details. But there are plenty more saints who are forgotten by history. Perhaps they are remembered by only a handful of family members.
Certainly the main goal of living the Christian life isn't fame. Some have fame thrust upon them by taking on the responsibility of the pastorate or leadership of some organization. Many others live their faith under the radar of the churched and unchurched alike.
I remember reading a quote from Billy Graham where someone asked him who he thought would have the greatest reward in heaven. The questioner was obviously trying to get a taste of pride from the evangelist. Instead, Rev. Graham suggested that it would probably be an older lady who spends her days in prayer for others. Someone you wouldn't expect. But maybe we should. After all, didn't Jesus tell us that if we want to be great, we must be less? The last shall become first, right?
I am thankful for the lives of those known perhaps only to God Himself, who lived faithful lives as godly influences on the people nearby. Also for the godly extended family who taught me the basics about Christ. And all those who sought to make themselves servants and fly under the radar -- not because they hid their faith, but because they did not seek the glory and gave it all to God Almighty. They have not slipped through the cracks, for God will reward what is done in secret. He is especially pleased when we don't seek a stroke for our egos, but instead acknowledge Him in everything. The deceased at the lonely funeral this week has been moved to the head table at the feast. For nothing escapes the notice of the Lord.
Monday, October 31, 2005
The Preacher's Kid
"You have to watch out for the preacher's kid!"
Scary words for a preacher, let me tell you! But you know the stereotype: the preacher's kids are the rebellious ones, always sneaking around and getting into trouble. Dad is preaching righteousness and heaven while the kids are nasty and raising hell.
I'm a preacher, but I've never been the preacher's kid. My grandfather was a pastor, but he entered the ministry later in life so my mother was never really a PK. Her dad was a PK, but I don't remember him ever talking about what that way like. And I wonder what I've gotten my kids into.
Now don't get me wrong. I've known more than a few PK's in my life. My high school sweetheart was a preacher's kid. Another good friend in high school was a PK. I know they felt a little pressure to be good -- especially when they wanted to be bad. But then again, I think any kid of church-going parents feels that pressure to a certain degree. Still, I know there is more expected of the preacher's kid.
I ran across this post over at Uncle Sam's Cabin with the following thoughts:
Every statistical study I have seen shows this poster to be accurate. PK's are not worse... just average. Still I know there is a lot of pressure on the kids, just as there is a lot of pressure on the pastor. There is a good chance that some of those PK's who fall are experiencing the results of a self-fulfilling prophecy. They're expected to live up to a lousy stereotype, so they subconsciously set about to make it happen.
Something about us, whether it's Western culture or just the human condition, wants to see those on the pedastal fall. We love to see those who claim to be so good turn out to be so bad. We relish watching the rich man who loses it all, and we resent the man who doesn't lose it. In the same manner, the world wants to see those who teach morality fall into immorality. Or better still, have their ongoing immorality exposed for all to see. Preacher's kids may be down a few rungs on the ladder, but they are still targets of those who want to feel better about themselves or about their own kids. When the preacher's son is caught drinking and vandalizing or when the preacher's daughter ends up pregnant and single, some feel a certain amount of vindication. That's sad.
I'm grateful that I don't feel the pressure that many pastors feel. I hope that translates the same way for my kids. They are under enough scrutiny just being my kids, let alone being the pastor's kids.
As you pray for your pastor, don't forget to say a prayer for the spouse and the kids.
Scary words for a preacher, let me tell you! But you know the stereotype: the preacher's kids are the rebellious ones, always sneaking around and getting into trouble. Dad is preaching righteousness and heaven while the kids are nasty and raising hell.
I'm a preacher, but I've never been the preacher's kid. My grandfather was a pastor, but he entered the ministry later in life so my mother was never really a PK. Her dad was a PK, but I don't remember him ever talking about what that way like. And I wonder what I've gotten my kids into.
Now don't get me wrong. I've known more than a few PK's in my life. My high school sweetheart was a preacher's kid. Another good friend in high school was a PK. I know they felt a little pressure to be good -- especially when they wanted to be bad. But then again, I think any kid of church-going parents feels that pressure to a certain degree. Still, I know there is more expected of the preacher's kid.
I ran across this post over at Uncle Sam's Cabin with the following thoughts:
Pastors' children are no better or worse than anybody else's children at being "hell raisers" just more noticeable because everyone's watching them. We hold them up as some how better than your ordinary average Christian and expect them to avoid making the same mistakes we ourselves make every day. All of those high expectations can put a lot of pressure on pastors and their families. Can you imagine being a kid in those kind of circumstances? Rather than turn against our parents and our faith (as some children of pastors do) my sisters and I closed ranks around our family. We'd seen too many others stumble and fall fracturing the relationships within their families to repeat those mistakes.
Every statistical study I have seen shows this poster to be accurate. PK's are not worse... just average. Still I know there is a lot of pressure on the kids, just as there is a lot of pressure on the pastor. There is a good chance that some of those PK's who fall are experiencing the results of a self-fulfilling prophecy. They're expected to live up to a lousy stereotype, so they subconsciously set about to make it happen.
Something about us, whether it's Western culture or just the human condition, wants to see those on the pedastal fall. We love to see those who claim to be so good turn out to be so bad. We relish watching the rich man who loses it all, and we resent the man who doesn't lose it. In the same manner, the world wants to see those who teach morality fall into immorality. Or better still, have their ongoing immorality exposed for all to see. Preacher's kids may be down a few rungs on the ladder, but they are still targets of those who want to feel better about themselves or about their own kids. When the preacher's son is caught drinking and vandalizing or when the preacher's daughter ends up pregnant and single, some feel a certain amount of vindication. That's sad.
I'm grateful that I don't feel the pressure that many pastors feel. I hope that translates the same way for my kids. They are under enough scrutiny just being my kids, let alone being the pastor's kids.
As you pray for your pastor, don't forget to say a prayer for the spouse and the kids.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Gifts for the Birthday Girl... and for me
Today was my daughter's birthday. She's turning four. Since she's the baby of the family and the only girl, she gets a little special attention. Today it was a tea party birthday with a couple dozen friends, relatives and others munching on tea sandwiches, birthday cake and pink punch. Oddly enough, as I type this I realize that nobody had any tea. Go figure. But we had our share of little ones running wild. I see ponies and coloring books and doll furniture piled into heaps. There's still wrapping paper and assorted torn boxes and warranty cards strewn across the living room floor. I'll get to the cleaning part soon enough.
The picture above is my daughter's birthday cake. My wife made it herself. Truly amazing. I think she even surprised herself with how well it came out. It's tough for her to surprise me anymore, as she is always accomplishing things out of the ordinary, but this cake was really something. In the same way, I watched my wife sit at this computer for around eight hours one day last month. She was figuring out how to get rid of a virus we had picked up somewhere, and no one was going to tell her she couldn't do it. Eventually she got it figured out through ingenuity and tenacity. Or maybe it was just stubbornness. Either way, she was a marvel to watch. When she sets her mind to something, it's rare that she can't succeed. She is truly a gifted person who is a gift from God.
My oldest boy played guitar at church this morning. He led the congregation in singing the old Andre Crouch song, Soon and Very Soon. He's really a great kid -- almost 14 years old now. His one drawback is that he looks and acts too much like his old man did at that age. Hopefully he'll work out of that. Next weekend I will have the incredible blessing of baptizing him. Words cannot express what that will be like.
The middle child missed the birthday party today because his football team had a playoff game. He plays fullback and inside linebacker and has had a great season. The team lost today in the semi-finals in overtime 13-12. Next year he'll be playing Junior High football. It seems like only yesterday that he was our 3 year old imp with a smirk on his face and a twinkle in his eye. The boy is growing up. He's a people person. I've known that since kindergarten. I dropped him off outside his classroom and watched him turn the corner and enter the room. Then I heard a dozen or so classmates shout his name in unison -- sort of like when Norm would enter Cheers on television. He's still that way. A very caring and special person. I can't wait to see what God uses him to do. The possibilities are endless.
It looks like my daughter may have finally run out of steam this evening. She's had a huge day. She was surrounded by older girls at the party. She's always hung out with older kids. It's probably mostly because we are always around kids my boys' age, but she gets along fine. She was telling me earlier this week about what she'll do when she becomes a boy like her big brothers! It looks like she still has a bit to learn, eh? But around here, she's still the princess. Or the queen, depending upon the day.
I write all of this, not to brag, but to recount some of the things God has given me far beyond what I deserve. It's almost like it's my birthday every day. I could sit and concentrate on the lousy stuff in my life. The money situation isn't great. I need to get a part time job. Church attendance has been disappointing. I'm getting older and need glasses to read. But that stuff is all nothing compared to the incredible gifts I have been given by my Lord and Savior.
Happy birthday, dear daughter. And thank you, dear God.
The picture above is my daughter's birthday cake. My wife made it herself. Truly amazing. I think she even surprised herself with how well it came out. It's tough for her to surprise me anymore, as she is always accomplishing things out of the ordinary, but this cake was really something. In the same way, I watched my wife sit at this computer for around eight hours one day last month. She was figuring out how to get rid of a virus we had picked up somewhere, and no one was going to tell her she couldn't do it. Eventually she got it figured out through ingenuity and tenacity. Or maybe it was just stubbornness. Either way, she was a marvel to watch. When she sets her mind to something, it's rare that she can't succeed. She is truly a gifted person who is a gift from God.
My oldest boy played guitar at church this morning. He led the congregation in singing the old Andre Crouch song, Soon and Very Soon. He's really a great kid -- almost 14 years old now. His one drawback is that he looks and acts too much like his old man did at that age. Hopefully he'll work out of that. Next weekend I will have the incredible blessing of baptizing him. Words cannot express what that will be like.
The middle child missed the birthday party today because his football team had a playoff game. He plays fullback and inside linebacker and has had a great season. The team lost today in the semi-finals in overtime 13-12. Next year he'll be playing Junior High football. It seems like only yesterday that he was our 3 year old imp with a smirk on his face and a twinkle in his eye. The boy is growing up. He's a people person. I've known that since kindergarten. I dropped him off outside his classroom and watched him turn the corner and enter the room. Then I heard a dozen or so classmates shout his name in unison -- sort of like when Norm would enter Cheers on television. He's still that way. A very caring and special person. I can't wait to see what God uses him to do. The possibilities are endless.
It looks like my daughter may have finally run out of steam this evening. She's had a huge day. She was surrounded by older girls at the party. She's always hung out with older kids. It's probably mostly because we are always around kids my boys' age, but she gets along fine. She was telling me earlier this week about what she'll do when she becomes a boy like her big brothers! It looks like she still has a bit to learn, eh? But around here, she's still the princess. Or the queen, depending upon the day.
I write all of this, not to brag, but to recount some of the things God has given me far beyond what I deserve. It's almost like it's my birthday every day. I could sit and concentrate on the lousy stuff in my life. The money situation isn't great. I need to get a part time job. Church attendance has been disappointing. I'm getting older and need glasses to read. But that stuff is all nothing compared to the incredible gifts I have been given by my Lord and Savior.
Happy birthday, dear daughter. And thank you, dear God.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Hmmm... Blog or New Truck?
My blog is worth $31,049.70.
How much is your blog worth?
I assume the person willing to give $31k for Attention Span is locked away somewhere...
Friday, October 28, 2005
Forced to Pray
Have you ever embarked on your day, fresh and ready to take on the world, began your business, planned what you would be doing later, thought about where to have lunch and what was on television that night or getting back to that book you're in the middle of, and then... someone asks you to pray?
That happened to me recently. It was going to be a busy day and I had a lot on my mind. I hadn't done devotions in the morning -- usually I do that at night when I'm more awake. I hadn't stopped to thank God or even ask Him for something. But as I attended a meeting a couple of hours after I tumbled out of bed, the chairman began by asking each of us to bow our heads for prayer. As I did, I let out a little gasp. How could I have left God out of my morning? How long would I have gone without any acknowledgement of Him at all? Lunch? An afternoon drive? Dinner? Bedtime?
I was glad that the speaker paused before beginning that prayer. I needed that time to collect myself and bring myself into an attitude of prayer. I hadn't been in that attitude all morning. I had been absorbed in myself. I had not been forced to acknowledge my God and Savior, and I had quite easily avoided doing it. Way too easily.
If you are like me, you have to be intentional in your relationships. I know it works that way with people. I can easily drift off and ignore people for days, weeks, years. And once in a while I find that I can do the same with my family, and even my God. With my family, it's easy to get around the problem. My almost 4 year old daughter demands attention -- usually at the most inconvenient times. My boys will go off together or close themselves off separately where I don't see them for hours at a time. I even find myself ignoring my wife too often for my liking. At least with her, we wind up in the same bed at night so we generally at least bump into each other!
But the one that worries me is my relationship with God. Some days it's not like the deer panting for streams of water. Some days it's not like my soul crying out. Some days it's more like a commitment we keep pushing toward the back burner. "Don't mess with me God, I'm on a roll here!" And it really upsets me when I catch myself doing that.
"Lord, forgive me my wrapping myself in selfishness and not desiring your presence. Show me that You are not interfering, but beckoning. Grant me the restlessness to sense how much I need You and the strength to lean upon You."
That happened to me recently. It was going to be a busy day and I had a lot on my mind. I hadn't done devotions in the morning -- usually I do that at night when I'm more awake. I hadn't stopped to thank God or even ask Him for something. But as I attended a meeting a couple of hours after I tumbled out of bed, the chairman began by asking each of us to bow our heads for prayer. As I did, I let out a little gasp. How could I have left God out of my morning? How long would I have gone without any acknowledgement of Him at all? Lunch? An afternoon drive? Dinner? Bedtime?
I was glad that the speaker paused before beginning that prayer. I needed that time to collect myself and bring myself into an attitude of prayer. I hadn't been in that attitude all morning. I had been absorbed in myself. I had not been forced to acknowledge my God and Savior, and I had quite easily avoided doing it. Way too easily.
If you are like me, you have to be intentional in your relationships. I know it works that way with people. I can easily drift off and ignore people for days, weeks, years. And once in a while I find that I can do the same with my family, and even my God. With my family, it's easy to get around the problem. My almost 4 year old daughter demands attention -- usually at the most inconvenient times. My boys will go off together or close themselves off separately where I don't see them for hours at a time. I even find myself ignoring my wife too often for my liking. At least with her, we wind up in the same bed at night so we generally at least bump into each other!
But the one that worries me is my relationship with God. Some days it's not like the deer panting for streams of water. Some days it's not like my soul crying out. Some days it's more like a commitment we keep pushing toward the back burner. "Don't mess with me God, I'm on a roll here!" And it really upsets me when I catch myself doing that.
"Lord, forgive me my wrapping myself in selfishness and not desiring your presence. Show me that You are not interfering, but beckoning. Grant me the restlessness to sense how much I need You and the strength to lean upon You."
Talkin' Salvation
Evangelical Update is back! After lying dormant almost three months, chris has started a new discussion about salvation. You are invited.!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
The Content of Our Character
In the past couple of days, the topic of race and racism has been everywhere. I first noticed it when ESPN baseball analyst and former Reds second basemen, Joe Morgan, brought up the fact that there are no African-Americans on the Houston Astros. To be honest, I hadn't noticed or even thought to look. Morgan, for his part, wasn't crying racism. Instead his point was that fewer blacks were playing baseball as kids, so the number in the Major League was dwindling. And being a black former ballplayer, he was disappointed that not as many were following in his footsteps.
At about the same time came some remarks from Air Force football coach Fisher DeBarry which caused an uproar. After a humiliating loss, Coach DeBarry noted that the opposing team, "had a lot more Afro-American players than we did and they ran a lot faster than we did. It just seems to me to be that way. Afro-American kids can run very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me that they run extremely well." From that point there have been all kinds of cries of racism and hatefulness. Now, I doubt Coach DeBarry is a racist. More likely he's just repeating common folklore perpetuated by black and white alike. Blacks are fast, white guys are slow... that kind of thing. Stupid stereotypes are what they are. And these are spread and joked about no matter how shaky the foundation in truth. The movie White Men Can't Jump played off that stereotype a number of years ago.
Isn't it funny that so many folks can't shake the fear and distrust of other races? It's a very touchy subject. Mel over at Actual Unretouched Photo had an interesting post about a 3 year old bi-racial child she babysits for. The child felt the need to tell her that his Dad is black. Now there are a lot of other things going on in that child's life, but for some reason race was on the boy's mind. It had suddenly become important.
Growing up in the sixites in a small midwestern town, it was years before I saw anyone of another race. These days my boys attend school in a different small midwestern town and have known kids of other races since they entered kindergarten. I remember my boys asking why one boy's skin was a different color, but a "That's the way God made him," was a good enough answer. My boys harbored no hatred -- just a little curiosity.
I was talking to my youth group last night about this whole idea. Twelve kids, aged 10 to 16. And they all seemed to be a bit confused by the topic. The thought of hating someone for skin color or even going to a rival school seemed pretty silly to them. We talked about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. looking forward to the day when a person wouldn't be judged by the color of his skin but by the content of his character. One 13 year old girl who attends our youth group sparingly spoke up and said, "Why would you hate someone before you get to know them? I have friends like that and I just don't understand it." I didn't have a great answer for her.
As a white guy, if I was walking down a dark city street and saw a group of six black teens wearing gangsta clothing approaching I would fear for my safety. But by the same token, if those six teens were white and sporting the same attitude I'd fear for my safety as well. The only difference I'd feel is that the black teens could be more likely to hate me because of my skin color. But that's just a generalization too. My real fear would be being outnumbered by a group of people who seem proud of their love of violence.
In the comments to my last "real" post, Gary Means told about the racist teaching he encountered in an Oregon church back in 1972. I know I've read Philip Yancey's recollections of growing up in a racist white church in the deep south of the sixties. With all my heart, I hope these stupid ideas have faded from the Church. But I know better. People are too in love with what they've always believed to consider the truth, let alone see the truth.
And I think it comes down to the fact that Dr. King's dream for a colorblind society is still not reality. We humans like to categorize people into groups. And we don't simply use race. Sometimes it's ethnicity. It could even be hair color, vocation, school district, age, or favorite sports team. We love to pigeonhole people. After all if we can judge a book by it's cover, then we don't have to put forth an effort to get to know them. We can dismiss giant chunks of the population who don't meet our qualifications. No need to talk to them or consider their plight.
I see this attitude outside the church and inside the church. I've already posted extensively how I see churches give sparingly to a Central American church, but think nothing of dropping large amounts of money on their own luxuries. I see folks want to reach out to suburbanites and ignore those in the inner city except for token efforts. And I still see some folks who have some racism come to the surface on occasion. But I'm done making excuses for these people. No more, "They don't know any better." Or, "That's the way they were raised." Or even, "They're too old to change." As humans we cannot harbor hatred toward people of other races. And as Christians we must be the first to look at character instead of skin color.
At about the same time came some remarks from Air Force football coach Fisher DeBarry which caused an uproar. After a humiliating loss, Coach DeBarry noted that the opposing team, "had a lot more Afro-American players than we did and they ran a lot faster than we did. It just seems to me to be that way. Afro-American kids can run very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me that they run extremely well." From that point there have been all kinds of cries of racism and hatefulness. Now, I doubt Coach DeBarry is a racist. More likely he's just repeating common folklore perpetuated by black and white alike. Blacks are fast, white guys are slow... that kind of thing. Stupid stereotypes are what they are. And these are spread and joked about no matter how shaky the foundation in truth. The movie White Men Can't Jump played off that stereotype a number of years ago.
Isn't it funny that so many folks can't shake the fear and distrust of other races? It's a very touchy subject. Mel over at Actual Unretouched Photo had an interesting post about a 3 year old bi-racial child she babysits for. The child felt the need to tell her that his Dad is black. Now there are a lot of other things going on in that child's life, but for some reason race was on the boy's mind. It had suddenly become important.
Growing up in the sixites in a small midwestern town, it was years before I saw anyone of another race. These days my boys attend school in a different small midwestern town and have known kids of other races since they entered kindergarten. I remember my boys asking why one boy's skin was a different color, but a "That's the way God made him," was a good enough answer. My boys harbored no hatred -- just a little curiosity.
I was talking to my youth group last night about this whole idea. Twelve kids, aged 10 to 16. And they all seemed to be a bit confused by the topic. The thought of hating someone for skin color or even going to a rival school seemed pretty silly to them. We talked about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. looking forward to the day when a person wouldn't be judged by the color of his skin but by the content of his character. One 13 year old girl who attends our youth group sparingly spoke up and said, "Why would you hate someone before you get to know them? I have friends like that and I just don't understand it." I didn't have a great answer for her.
As a white guy, if I was walking down a dark city street and saw a group of six black teens wearing gangsta clothing approaching I would fear for my safety. But by the same token, if those six teens were white and sporting the same attitude I'd fear for my safety as well. The only difference I'd feel is that the black teens could be more likely to hate me because of my skin color. But that's just a generalization too. My real fear would be being outnumbered by a group of people who seem proud of their love of violence.
In the comments to my last "real" post, Gary Means told about the racist teaching he encountered in an Oregon church back in 1972. I know I've read Philip Yancey's recollections of growing up in a racist white church in the deep south of the sixties. With all my heart, I hope these stupid ideas have faded from the Church. But I know better. People are too in love with what they've always believed to consider the truth, let alone see the truth.
And I think it comes down to the fact that Dr. King's dream for a colorblind society is still not reality. We humans like to categorize people into groups. And we don't simply use race. Sometimes it's ethnicity. It could even be hair color, vocation, school district, age, or favorite sports team. We love to pigeonhole people. After all if we can judge a book by it's cover, then we don't have to put forth an effort to get to know them. We can dismiss giant chunks of the population who don't meet our qualifications. No need to talk to them or consider their plight.
I see this attitude outside the church and inside the church. I've already posted extensively how I see churches give sparingly to a Central American church, but think nothing of dropping large amounts of money on their own luxuries. I see folks want to reach out to suburbanites and ignore those in the inner city except for token efforts. And I still see some folks who have some racism come to the surface on occasion. But I'm done making excuses for these people. No more, "They don't know any better." Or, "That's the way they were raised." Or even, "They're too old to change." As humans we cannot harbor hatred toward people of other races. And as Christians we must be the first to look at character instead of skin color.
Good Reads - 10/26/05
Some stuff that's too good to pass up from around the 'sphere:
Kevin at Short Attention Span expounds on a subject near and dear to my heart -- the selling of a church's soul. Are churches serving people or capitalizing on potential revenue sources? Read "Purpose Gets Left Behind" Churches.
Michael Spencer of Internet Monk is posting along the same lines. Here is his discussion of little churches trying to be like mega-churches, even when they don't have the resources. It may be long, but the Monk makes some good points.
The emuser is back! For now, anyway. His posts at bemuseme may be few and far between, but they are definately worthwhile. Read Family Ties and realize that pain and love often go hand in hand.
Shane at Wesley Blog posts about "Why I'm Addicted to Urban Ministry" and shares his heart about not just doing short term missions, but living that mission for a huge blessing.
And don't miss The Potluck at Christian Carnival XCIII over at White Ribbon Warriors. And thanks to Bill for stepping in at the last minute to host.
Kevin at Short Attention Span expounds on a subject near and dear to my heart -- the selling of a church's soul. Are churches serving people or capitalizing on potential revenue sources? Read "Purpose Gets Left Behind" Churches.
Michael Spencer of Internet Monk is posting along the same lines. Here is his discussion of little churches trying to be like mega-churches, even when they don't have the resources. It may be long, but the Monk makes some good points.
The emuser is back! For now, anyway. His posts at bemuseme may be few and far between, but they are definately worthwhile. Read Family Ties and realize that pain and love often go hand in hand.
Shane at Wesley Blog posts about "Why I'm Addicted to Urban Ministry" and shares his heart about not just doing short term missions, but living that mission for a huge blessing.
And don't miss The Potluck at Christian Carnival XCIII over at White Ribbon Warriors. And thanks to Bill for stepping in at the last minute to host.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Fighting Indoctrination
These two girls were all over TV and talk radio the past few days. They are 13 year old twins Lamb and Lynx Gaede from Bakersfield, California, who are a pop duo named Prussian Blue.
Pretty innocent, you say? Look again. These sweet little girls are singing about white supremecy and Nazi heroes. Nasty stuff. One interview with the twins had them explaining how they wanted to correct the "myth of the Holocaust" and other similar views. How did they come to sing hate-speech? Who molded their minds into such twisted founts of misinformation? Mom and Dad, of course.
Dad is a real piece of work. He puts a swastika on everything that doesn't move and a few things that do move, including branding the Nazi symbol on his cattle. April, the girls' mother, is certainly outspoken. "Well, all children pretty much espouse their parents' attitudes," she said. "We're white nationalists and of course that's a part of our life and I'm going to share that part of my life with my children." They've done more than share -- they have indoctrinated their girls with racism. And over the past few days, the country has gasped over such brainwashing.
But the parents' point is correct; they're just passing along their values to their kids. Isn't that what every parent does? Ex-jocks pass on their love of sports to their kids. Animal lovers share that with their children.
Let's not forget that Christians pass along their faith to their kids. No, it's not just Christians, it's people of every faith. But let's talk Christianity. We drag our kids to Sunday School (sometimes kicking and screaming), teach them prayers for bedtime and mealtime, send them to church camp, buy them Bibles with pictures, and teach them memory verses. Some denominations even take kids through catechism, for crying out loud. Is that any different than what Arayan-Mom and Nazi-Dad are doing?
The truth is that we are supposed to train up a child in the way he should go. We are supposed to pass along the knowledge and the faith we hold dear. But something almost magical is supposed to happen at some point. Our children are supposed to go from believing "because Dad and Mom say so," to believing because they have investigated the truth.
Some folks never get past that point. Their reasoning never goes beyond, "That's the way I was raised." Critical thinking never enters into the matter. "If it was good enough for my Dad and for his Dad, then it's good enough for me." The truth is, that's not good enough. Even for Christians.
I'm always happy when people tell me they've given their lives to Jesus Christ. But it also distresses me when I see that so many have no depth in their relationship with their Lord and Savior. Their faith seems to be more cultural than spiritual. Church attendance is a natural, but living a life which looks different than the rest of the world is unheard of. And for many, it's because Mom and Dad's Christian life was incredibly shallow as well. Nod during the sermon, bow your head to pray and sing out during the hymns... oh, and don't forget to shake the preacher's hand on the way out the door of the church. Like father, like son, like grandson.
One of the things I tell my congregation is not to believe what I tell them from the pulpit without checking it out first. I figure if Paul commended the Bereans for checking out his messages, I have no right to be offended by people checking up on me. After all, truth is supposed to be what it's all about. Certainly in some areas of doctrine it is hard to determine absolute truth, but it's downright impossible to get down to truth if we are satisfied with whatever somebody else told us -- even when it's someone we respect. Like Mom and Dad.
Hopefully the twins of Prussian Blue will reach the point where they seek truth instead of parroting the hate-speech of their parents. Better still, perhaps they will seek the real Truth.
Hopefully all of Christ's followers believe because of what they've learned and what they've experienced and not just because of what someone told them. But even I am not that optimistic. It is incredibly tempting to be lazy in our faith. To trust the preacher on television or our favorite author. To do as Mom and Dad told us. And to make the same mistakes those folks make.
We need to seek truth. And to seek Truth. We have to be courageous to check out what we've heard, to commit our minds to study and learning. We must do as the Bereans did. It's just too bad that we live in a day where the world calls us to stay busy and go along with what we're told. It seems there's never a Berean around when you need one.
Pretty innocent, you say? Look again. These sweet little girls are singing about white supremecy and Nazi heroes. Nasty stuff. One interview with the twins had them explaining how they wanted to correct the "myth of the Holocaust" and other similar views. How did they come to sing hate-speech? Who molded their minds into such twisted founts of misinformation? Mom and Dad, of course.
Dad is a real piece of work. He puts a swastika on everything that doesn't move and a few things that do move, including branding the Nazi symbol on his cattle. April, the girls' mother, is certainly outspoken. "Well, all children pretty much espouse their parents' attitudes," she said. "We're white nationalists and of course that's a part of our life and I'm going to share that part of my life with my children." They've done more than share -- they have indoctrinated their girls with racism. And over the past few days, the country has gasped over such brainwashing.
But the parents' point is correct; they're just passing along their values to their kids. Isn't that what every parent does? Ex-jocks pass on their love of sports to their kids. Animal lovers share that with their children.
Let's not forget that Christians pass along their faith to their kids. No, it's not just Christians, it's people of every faith. But let's talk Christianity. We drag our kids to Sunday School (sometimes kicking and screaming), teach them prayers for bedtime and mealtime, send them to church camp, buy them Bibles with pictures, and teach them memory verses. Some denominations even take kids through catechism, for crying out loud. Is that any different than what Arayan-Mom and Nazi-Dad are doing?
The truth is that we are supposed to train up a child in the way he should go. We are supposed to pass along the knowledge and the faith we hold dear. But something almost magical is supposed to happen at some point. Our children are supposed to go from believing "because Dad and Mom say so," to believing because they have investigated the truth.
Some folks never get past that point. Their reasoning never goes beyond, "That's the way I was raised." Critical thinking never enters into the matter. "If it was good enough for my Dad and for his Dad, then it's good enough for me." The truth is, that's not good enough. Even for Christians.
I'm always happy when people tell me they've given their lives to Jesus Christ. But it also distresses me when I see that so many have no depth in their relationship with their Lord and Savior. Their faith seems to be more cultural than spiritual. Church attendance is a natural, but living a life which looks different than the rest of the world is unheard of. And for many, it's because Mom and Dad's Christian life was incredibly shallow as well. Nod during the sermon, bow your head to pray and sing out during the hymns... oh, and don't forget to shake the preacher's hand on the way out the door of the church. Like father, like son, like grandson.
One of the things I tell my congregation is not to believe what I tell them from the pulpit without checking it out first. I figure if Paul commended the Bereans for checking out his messages, I have no right to be offended by people checking up on me. After all, truth is supposed to be what it's all about. Certainly in some areas of doctrine it is hard to determine absolute truth, but it's downright impossible to get down to truth if we are satisfied with whatever somebody else told us -- even when it's someone we respect. Like Mom and Dad.
Hopefully the twins of Prussian Blue will reach the point where they seek truth instead of parroting the hate-speech of their parents. Better still, perhaps they will seek the real Truth.
Hopefully all of Christ's followers believe because of what they've learned and what they've experienced and not just because of what someone told them. But even I am not that optimistic. It is incredibly tempting to be lazy in our faith. To trust the preacher on television or our favorite author. To do as Mom and Dad told us. And to make the same mistakes those folks make.
We need to seek truth. And to seek Truth. We have to be courageous to check out what we've heard, to commit our minds to study and learning. We must do as the Bereans did. It's just too bad that we live in a day where the world calls us to stay busy and go along with what we're told. It seems there's never a Berean around when you need one.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Not the Most Popular Subject
I spent one day this week at a small seminar. I say it was small because the host staff outnumbered the paying students two to one! Just a half dozen of us paid to take part. Perhaps it was because it was a relatively small town, but I think it likely had more to do with the subject matter. The seminar dealt with the death of children. Nobody wants to even think about that possibility.
It's not natural for parents to bury their children. Even a 90 year-old mother shouldn't still be around for her sons' funerals. It's somehow wrong. Yet it happens every day. How does one survive such a loss? How can I comfort someone who is going through the grief of losing a child?
At the seminar were five people who had gone through the heartache of burying a child. Two were a husband and wife whose 16 year old daughter had been killed in a car accident just over a year ago. She was swerving the car back and forth to please her 10 year old sister. It was just the way their Daddy had done on occasion for a little fun with the girls. Only Daddy didn't lose control. Little sister survived and ran for help, but it was too late to save Jessica. The mourning was intense for the family, as you might imagine. In fact, it affected the parents so completely that their church asked them to leave the fellowship because they didn't know how to deal with them!
One woman had lost a 10 year old son back in 1999. He was a youth motocross rider. Pretty good too. He was also a gregarious, fun boy. The woman and her husband loved motorcycles and took the boy and his older brother on the regional motocross circuit. It was a way of life for the family. Then one day at home while practicing, the boy crashed and died a short time later. The boy's memory has been honored in many ways -- two baseball fields are named after him, a sports Mental Attitude Award, and an annual motocross race. But Mom and Dad still have an empty spot in their hearts and in their lives.
Another woman lost an infant girl to a brain tumor about 18 years ago. Being her first child, she had to deal with the question, "Am I still a mother?" Even after that many years, it was evident that the grieving process was ongoing.
Those four people made up a parent's panel to share their experiences and expertise with those attending the seminar in order to teach us students how to help folks in this situation. I realize that I mentioned earlier that there were five people there who had buried a child. The fifth was me.
It was odd, since I took the seminar to gain insights as a caregiver, to sit and relive the events of more than 15 years ago in my own life. I was there as a paid learner, but I felt like I was sitting up front with the parents' panel. I have struggled with the same feelings. I have had to figure out how to answer the question, "How many kids do you have?" without forcing the questioner to hear the whole sad story. I too, sat and wondered what would have happened if my wife and I had done things differently.
My first son was born back in 1991. It had been a very troubled pregnancy. My wife woke up one night in her 16th week with a wet bed. Although the first doctor assured her that her water hadn't broken, a month later a specialist confirmed that indeed that was the case. For some reason known only to the Almighty, my wife did not go into labor immediately afterward as 99+ percent of women do. Instead she was put on bedrest for the remainder of the pregnancy. Many of the next weeks were spent in a hospital bed. Other weeks were spent in a recliner, hoping that the bag of waters would repair itself. If it didn't, the baby's lungs would not develop enough to breathe with or without a ventilator. It didn't.
When my son was finally born in my wife's 32nd week, he was swept off to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit. The first few hours went well and we started to get our hopes up. Then late in the afternoon, the NICU called us to prepare us for what was to come. His oxygen levels were going down. It didn't look good.
We spent a lot of time holding him. Tubes and wires were wrapped up in the baby's blankets. Monitors were beeping assorted warnings. The jet ventilator kept making a horrible racket. Finally, just before one in the morning, the end came as I was holding him.
The four on the parents' panel did a good job of expressing many of the feelings I went through, but some of it just cannot be explained. There is no way to verbalize the grief, the guilt and the overwhelming loss my wife and I felt. Even though our situations produced similar emotions, each case was somehow different. The parents of the 16 year old have a clothing ministry dedicated to the memory of their daughter. The mother of the 10 year old motocross rider has a shelf of trophies, pictures and assorted memorablia from her son. Even the mother of the infant girl has certain treasures from her daughter's fight with that tumor.
My wife and I have a picture. One picture. It hangs on the wall to my right as I sit here typing. It's not a cheerful picture for most people. There is white tape across his face, holding the ventilator tube in place. Monitor patches are on his chest and side. One of his legs is pointed in an awkward position. It had been stuck that way inside my wife's body since there was no womb full of fluid to float around in. I have a copy of that picture for my wallet, although very few people have ever wanted to see it. It's scary. Not scary-looking, but it's a reminder that life is so very fragile, and even a normal process like pregnancy and birth is not guaranteed to be trouble-free.
Sometimes I am grateful that I have little to remind me of my son. I don't have to wince every time another of my kids gets on a motorcycle like the one woman from the panel does. I don't have to watch my child's friends grow up without him. But at the same time, I have so little of him to remember. Such a tiny baby with such a tiny lifespan. No shelf full of mementos. No other people to tell me stories about what my child was like with other people. A blessing and a curse all at the same time.
The death of a child is something none of us wants to ever face. Yesterday I visited a first time mother in the hospital. Her baby had become sick before she was even one day old. They rushed the baby to the NICU, not knowing what was wrong. As I entered the mother's hospital room, the doctor was there saying that everything looked good for now. Mom seemed calm while I stayed and visited, but I know she spent much of the rest of the day worried and in tears. The thought of a possible loss like that is overwhelming.
I encourage you, if you know of someone who has lost a child, don't shy away from talking to that person. Don't be afraid to ask about the child. Use the child's name. It's music to a parent's ears to hear someone else speak the name of their dead child. We don't want that life to be forgotten. I know it can be uncomfortable, and you probably don't know what to say. Sometimes words aren't even necessary. Remember Job's friends? They sat with a grieving Job for a week without speaking a word. Their compassion was shown in their presence. It wasn't until they opened their mouths that they promptly inserted their feet inside!
There are many of us. And we all continue to grieve in one form or another. We don't "get over it" in a year. That's a stupid and harmful myth. One of my favorite memories of my Dad's dad is from the day after my son died. This tough old bird stood there with tears streaming down his face telling me about the 5 month old daughter he had lost some 50 years earlier. The empty spot doesn't fade away quickly. But God does fill it up with His mercy and His grace. We don't always get a good answer to the "WHY?" question, but in His love we learn to trust Him to make good out of the unthinkable.
God was very merciful to my wife and I. We prayed that we still wanted a baby. Two days short of 10 months later we had another son -- not to replace the first, but it did cushion the pain a bit. But more than fifteen years after the fact there is still a feeling of loss and grief. I've seen how God has used that horrible experience to mold both my wife and myself into Christ's image. We have been used to help other parents through their own grief. But it still doesn't make sense. And I cannot wait to see my son again when my own time here is over.
It's not natural for parents to bury their children. Even a 90 year-old mother shouldn't still be around for her sons' funerals. It's somehow wrong. Yet it happens every day. How does one survive such a loss? How can I comfort someone who is going through the grief of losing a child?
At the seminar were five people who had gone through the heartache of burying a child. Two were a husband and wife whose 16 year old daughter had been killed in a car accident just over a year ago. She was swerving the car back and forth to please her 10 year old sister. It was just the way their Daddy had done on occasion for a little fun with the girls. Only Daddy didn't lose control. Little sister survived and ran for help, but it was too late to save Jessica. The mourning was intense for the family, as you might imagine. In fact, it affected the parents so completely that their church asked them to leave the fellowship because they didn't know how to deal with them!
One woman had lost a 10 year old son back in 1999. He was a youth motocross rider. Pretty good too. He was also a gregarious, fun boy. The woman and her husband loved motorcycles and took the boy and his older brother on the regional motocross circuit. It was a way of life for the family. Then one day at home while practicing, the boy crashed and died a short time later. The boy's memory has been honored in many ways -- two baseball fields are named after him, a sports Mental Attitude Award, and an annual motocross race. But Mom and Dad still have an empty spot in their hearts and in their lives.
Another woman lost an infant girl to a brain tumor about 18 years ago. Being her first child, she had to deal with the question, "Am I still a mother?" Even after that many years, it was evident that the grieving process was ongoing.
Those four people made up a parent's panel to share their experiences and expertise with those attending the seminar in order to teach us students how to help folks in this situation. I realize that I mentioned earlier that there were five people there who had buried a child. The fifth was me.
It was odd, since I took the seminar to gain insights as a caregiver, to sit and relive the events of more than 15 years ago in my own life. I was there as a paid learner, but I felt like I was sitting up front with the parents' panel. I have struggled with the same feelings. I have had to figure out how to answer the question, "How many kids do you have?" without forcing the questioner to hear the whole sad story. I too, sat and wondered what would have happened if my wife and I had done things differently.
My first son was born back in 1991. It had been a very troubled pregnancy. My wife woke up one night in her 16th week with a wet bed. Although the first doctor assured her that her water hadn't broken, a month later a specialist confirmed that indeed that was the case. For some reason known only to the Almighty, my wife did not go into labor immediately afterward as 99+ percent of women do. Instead she was put on bedrest for the remainder of the pregnancy. Many of the next weeks were spent in a hospital bed. Other weeks were spent in a recliner, hoping that the bag of waters would repair itself. If it didn't, the baby's lungs would not develop enough to breathe with or without a ventilator. It didn't.
When my son was finally born in my wife's 32nd week, he was swept off to the Newborn Intensive Care Unit. The first few hours went well and we started to get our hopes up. Then late in the afternoon, the NICU called us to prepare us for what was to come. His oxygen levels were going down. It didn't look good.
We spent a lot of time holding him. Tubes and wires were wrapped up in the baby's blankets. Monitors were beeping assorted warnings. The jet ventilator kept making a horrible racket. Finally, just before one in the morning, the end came as I was holding him.
The four on the parents' panel did a good job of expressing many of the feelings I went through, but some of it just cannot be explained. There is no way to verbalize the grief, the guilt and the overwhelming loss my wife and I felt. Even though our situations produced similar emotions, each case was somehow different. The parents of the 16 year old have a clothing ministry dedicated to the memory of their daughter. The mother of the 10 year old motocross rider has a shelf of trophies, pictures and assorted memorablia from her son. Even the mother of the infant girl has certain treasures from her daughter's fight with that tumor.
My wife and I have a picture. One picture. It hangs on the wall to my right as I sit here typing. It's not a cheerful picture for most people. There is white tape across his face, holding the ventilator tube in place. Monitor patches are on his chest and side. One of his legs is pointed in an awkward position. It had been stuck that way inside my wife's body since there was no womb full of fluid to float around in. I have a copy of that picture for my wallet, although very few people have ever wanted to see it. It's scary. Not scary-looking, but it's a reminder that life is so very fragile, and even a normal process like pregnancy and birth is not guaranteed to be trouble-free.
Sometimes I am grateful that I have little to remind me of my son. I don't have to wince every time another of my kids gets on a motorcycle like the one woman from the panel does. I don't have to watch my child's friends grow up without him. But at the same time, I have so little of him to remember. Such a tiny baby with such a tiny lifespan. No shelf full of mementos. No other people to tell me stories about what my child was like with other people. A blessing and a curse all at the same time.
The death of a child is something none of us wants to ever face. Yesterday I visited a first time mother in the hospital. Her baby had become sick before she was even one day old. They rushed the baby to the NICU, not knowing what was wrong. As I entered the mother's hospital room, the doctor was there saying that everything looked good for now. Mom seemed calm while I stayed and visited, but I know she spent much of the rest of the day worried and in tears. The thought of a possible loss like that is overwhelming.
I encourage you, if you know of someone who has lost a child, don't shy away from talking to that person. Don't be afraid to ask about the child. Use the child's name. It's music to a parent's ears to hear someone else speak the name of their dead child. We don't want that life to be forgotten. I know it can be uncomfortable, and you probably don't know what to say. Sometimes words aren't even necessary. Remember Job's friends? They sat with a grieving Job for a week without speaking a word. Their compassion was shown in their presence. It wasn't until they opened their mouths that they promptly inserted their feet inside!
There are many of us. And we all continue to grieve in one form or another. We don't "get over it" in a year. That's a stupid and harmful myth. One of my favorite memories of my Dad's dad is from the day after my son died. This tough old bird stood there with tears streaming down his face telling me about the 5 month old daughter he had lost some 50 years earlier. The empty spot doesn't fade away quickly. But God does fill it up with His mercy and His grace. We don't always get a good answer to the "WHY?" question, but in His love we learn to trust Him to make good out of the unthinkable.
God was very merciful to my wife and I. We prayed that we still wanted a baby. Two days short of 10 months later we had another son -- not to replace the first, but it did cushion the pain a bit. But more than fifteen years after the fact there is still a feeling of loss and grief. I've seen how God has used that horrible experience to mold both my wife and myself into Christ's image. We have been used to help other parents through their own grief. But it still doesn't make sense. And I cannot wait to see my son again when my own time here is over.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Big Church-Little Church Blues Part 3
You'd think I'd be able to make myself clear in just one post. But evidently I'm going to need three for this one! In part one, I chastised the poor stewardship I saw in a big church. In part two, I chided small churches for needing to keep control of their own little clubhouse instead of looking to serve God. But my friend Steve at whatever took the idea of evangelism based upon stewardship to the next level:
While I appreciate what Steve is saying, I want to make sure I'm not pigeonholed as promoting evangelism solely on a cost-effective basis. Because I'm not. Although I'm not discounting the need for good stewardship, I'm not going to live and die by it.
And I'm not trying to do away with evangelism efforts to the surrounding community -- even to those communities where everyone makes over $100,000 a year. I just don't think we need to spend excessively to impress them enough to get them in the door. We must remember that we are to pick up our cross daily. It's not about getting the best coffee or the fanciest sound system and lighting. A church which caters to a desire for luxury reinforces the idea that there is no sacrifice in being a Christian. I must have missed that part of Scripture.
But again, it's not just a big church hangup. As Mike from Life on the River wrote in a private email: "Large churches do spend more on their facility because they can. Smaller churches would if they could. Many people come to church for self-serving reasons, regardless of size." Yup.
That's precisely what I've been getting at for two and a half posts now. Too many of us see the church as a service to us. We ask, "What can this church do for me?" instead of "What I can do for the Kingdom through this church?" Evangelism becomes showing off. We fight to have our own way. Churches spend and spend to make their own facilities more cozy and impressive while not putting the same kind of effort into the lower economic classes.
Steve is a part of an inner-city church plant, so I know his heart is in reaching people for Christ -- especially those who would be ignored by many church planting experts because it costs so much to reach them. I agree. It's not about church size, it's about church heart. If our heart is to reach as many people for Christ as possible and to disciple them to become conformed to the image of Christ Jesus, then we won't be singing the Big Church-Little Church Blues. We won't be fighting to keep control. We won't be spending unnecessarily. We will be looking to glorify God and not ourselves. And that, my friends, is where we need to be.
If it's about stewardship, then let's stop trying to evangelize in Muslim countries. The costs and risks are great, and the "return on investment" has been historically minimal. It's just not fertile ground for evangelism. That money would be better spent in Africa, Latin America, or the former Soviet states, where converts can be gained at a much better cost-per-convert. And Europe, from what I hear, is tough. In fact, if you're going to spend evangelistic money in a Western country, it would probably be better spent in the States. People just aren't as receptive in Europe. Wouldn't God be pleased if we used His money to gain the most converts-per-dollar? It's just good stewardship.The thing is, nonChristians are nonChristians no matter where they live, and we have a responsibility to go after them with the Gospel. If it's less expensive in one place than it is in another--so what? Converts are converts. They'll all be asked the same questions by St. Peter. So, while my church may be spending less money-per-convert than a church in my city's suburbs, I view it as a matter of context. Do what's necessary to reach the people around you.
While I appreciate what Steve is saying, I want to make sure I'm not pigeonholed as promoting evangelism solely on a cost-effective basis. Because I'm not. Although I'm not discounting the need for good stewardship, I'm not going to live and die by it.
And I'm not trying to do away with evangelism efforts to the surrounding community -- even to those communities where everyone makes over $100,000 a year. I just don't think we need to spend excessively to impress them enough to get them in the door. We must remember that we are to pick up our cross daily. It's not about getting the best coffee or the fanciest sound system and lighting. A church which caters to a desire for luxury reinforces the idea that there is no sacrifice in being a Christian. I must have missed that part of Scripture.
But again, it's not just a big church hangup. As Mike from Life on the River wrote in a private email: "Large churches do spend more on their facility because they can. Smaller churches would if they could. Many people come to church for self-serving reasons, regardless of size." Yup.
That's precisely what I've been getting at for two and a half posts now. Too many of us see the church as a service to us. We ask, "What can this church do for me?" instead of "What I can do for the Kingdom through this church?" Evangelism becomes showing off. We fight to have our own way. Churches spend and spend to make their own facilities more cozy and impressive while not putting the same kind of effort into the lower economic classes.
Steve is a part of an inner-city church plant, so I know his heart is in reaching people for Christ -- especially those who would be ignored by many church planting experts because it costs so much to reach them. I agree. It's not about church size, it's about church heart. If our heart is to reach as many people for Christ as possible and to disciple them to become conformed to the image of Christ Jesus, then we won't be singing the Big Church-Little Church Blues. We won't be fighting to keep control. We won't be spending unnecessarily. We will be looking to glorify God and not ourselves. And that, my friends, is where we need to be.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Big Church-Little Church Blues, part 2
In my previous post, Theophilus, I may have come off as a little too hard on big churches. That wasn't my intent. I was actually trying to come off as a little too hard on big churches AND small churches. It was just jump started by what I consider extravagance in a large church. I guess it's just easier to see the questionable funding items in a big church. Let's face it, they stand out like a pimple on a supermodel. But I didn't mean to leave the small church out of the scrutiny. Re-reading, this was my only real criticism of the small church:
Mike has a couple of very good points. Little churches, like our larger counterparts, have our own way of wasting money in order to remain as lords of our own lives. C'mon, we can admit it... that's what it's about. Sure we do ministry in our little church. Of course the coffee shop at the mega church houses many an evangelical discussion. But how efficiently? Mostly we find ways to remain in control and glorify ourselves.
Two similar small churches employ two pastors, pay two heating bills, and maintain two buildings which sit empty 160 of 168 hours each week. And they may actually see a new convert every few years. A large church with a couple of thousand in attendance every weekend make better use of a building, but spend money on features and ministries which bring in only a few more people. Yet I'll go back to my point about the churches in Central America which are built for less than a week's offering in most large churches.
So why is it that we put our money where our bodies are and not where it can do the most ministry? Most people will drive around town to save an extra penny a gallon on a tankful of gas. Shouldn't we be as thrifty with ministry money?
But we're not. We prefer to spend the money where we can see it spent. Where we can use it. Where we can show others how well off our church is -- whether it's the huge new auditorium or the small church which can afford it's own pastor. We may see people come to Christ, or we may not. We may see a number of lives changed, or maybe just a couple. We may help a group deepen a relationship with Jesus, or we may sit happy in our little clubhouse -- but what a nice looking clubhouse it is.
Yet a week's offering builds an entire church building in many countries. Another week's collection will take care of a pastor and his family for months. But we can't see that in person, and we can't show it off to others, so... well... what's the point?
What a sad mindset! Do we truly consider the lives of two people in our own town to be worth that much more than the salvation of a few hundred who live in a third world nation? Do we honestly believe that an American or a Canadian or someone in our own town is more important to God than a Nigerian, an Afghani or a Honduran? If you look at our actions, you'd be hard pressed to claim otherwise.
I've rambled for two long posts about all of this and I think I can sum up this way: Our actions indicate that we care more for our own comfort, our own control, and our own ego than we do about most anything else. Our motives are impure. Our effectiveness is limited. We may be preaching all the right words to the community around us, but our actions speak louder than those words. We should show people that they matter to God, but not by buying them off with cushy chairs and half-price latte. We must communicate God's love, not exercise our control of our own little church family. We need to use what God has given us to reach the world, not just to entice the people around the corner who need a bribe to show up. There's got to be more to it than having a church building on every corner, some of which with lobbies the size of mini-malls. We must die to self-serving and live for self-sacrifice. We have to take it seriously. Or our worship will continue to be tainted by a desire to glorify ourselves or our church or our denomination instead of glorifying the One who truly deserves it.
God help us all.
See Part 3 here.
"I can even find waste in my own small church that would be better served building church walls in Central America."Not hard-hitting, I realize. So in the interest of equal time, I am posting a segment from an email discussing the whole post. The author is Mike from Life on the River. Here is his example of small church waste:
For example. Small churches (and this is coming from a small church pastor) spend almost all our funds on two items. Salary and building. Most often we are paying a large percentage of our income to maintain an outdated and under utilized facilities when there are a dozen other similar facilities with like-size congregations that believe almost identically, worship almost identically, live in the same communities and attend the same schools, root for the the same sports teams, and in general have most things in common as a culture and community, but stubbornly desire a separate pastor, building and opportunity to compete and control. We treat our "churches" as personal opportunities and personal kingdoms to express personal power and opinions.
Is this really the body of Christ? Is there anywhere in scripture justification for this? Does this reflect all believers having everything in common? Does this reflect the apparent unity of identity all believers had in each community (a single church entity meeting large and small groups in a given city)?
Likewise with staff. Our small congregations then want to staff our building and organization with a pastor, preferably full time. To do so we often provide sub-par salaries and require that the pastor live in a church owned house, which may or may not be well maintained, so that we can save even more money. The salary and the housing is often something few or any in the congregation would be willing to accept, unless very desperate, and even then might not. We then view this pastor as our "leader" who must follow our instructions, meet conflicting expectations, make us healthy without changing anything, and act as the congregational referee between small church gossip and criticism and power struggles. Pastors are to lead a pseudo family unit, but only with the blessing of the true patriarch or matriarch of the congregation. In reality, most of our small church pastors end as employees charged to do all the teaching, all the administration, the marrying, burying, and visitation.
Mike has a couple of very good points. Little churches, like our larger counterparts, have our own way of wasting money in order to remain as lords of our own lives. C'mon, we can admit it... that's what it's about. Sure we do ministry in our little church. Of course the coffee shop at the mega church houses many an evangelical discussion. But how efficiently? Mostly we find ways to remain in control and glorify ourselves.
Two similar small churches employ two pastors, pay two heating bills, and maintain two buildings which sit empty 160 of 168 hours each week. And they may actually see a new convert every few years. A large church with a couple of thousand in attendance every weekend make better use of a building, but spend money on features and ministries which bring in only a few more people. Yet I'll go back to my point about the churches in Central America which are built for less than a week's offering in most large churches.
So why is it that we put our money where our bodies are and not where it can do the most ministry? Most people will drive around town to save an extra penny a gallon on a tankful of gas. Shouldn't we be as thrifty with ministry money?
But we're not. We prefer to spend the money where we can see it spent. Where we can use it. Where we can show others how well off our church is -- whether it's the huge new auditorium or the small church which can afford it's own pastor. We may see people come to Christ, or we may not. We may see a number of lives changed, or maybe just a couple. We may help a group deepen a relationship with Jesus, or we may sit happy in our little clubhouse -- but what a nice looking clubhouse it is.
Yet a week's offering builds an entire church building in many countries. Another week's collection will take care of a pastor and his family for months. But we can't see that in person, and we can't show it off to others, so... well... what's the point?
What a sad mindset! Do we truly consider the lives of two people in our own town to be worth that much more than the salvation of a few hundred who live in a third world nation? Do we honestly believe that an American or a Canadian or someone in our own town is more important to God than a Nigerian, an Afghani or a Honduran? If you look at our actions, you'd be hard pressed to claim otherwise.
I've rambled for two long posts about all of this and I think I can sum up this way: Our actions indicate that we care more for our own comfort, our own control, and our own ego than we do about most anything else. Our motives are impure. Our effectiveness is limited. We may be preaching all the right words to the community around us, but our actions speak louder than those words. We should show people that they matter to God, but not by buying them off with cushy chairs and half-price latte. We must communicate God's love, not exercise our control of our own little church family. We need to use what God has given us to reach the world, not just to entice the people around the corner who need a bribe to show up. There's got to be more to it than having a church building on every corner, some of which with lobbies the size of mini-malls. We must die to self-serving and live for self-sacrifice. We have to take it seriously. Or our worship will continue to be tainted by a desire to glorify ourselves or our church or our denomination instead of glorifying the One who truly deserves it.
God help us all.
See Part 3 here.
How People Find This Blog
Oh, the strange routes people take to get here. Here's a new google search to get here: "Where to buy deer bait in Kalamazoo, Michigan". I'm at a loss trying to figure out what I wrote to show up on that search!
Sadly, as I've mentioned previously, people have been getting here by searching for "nude wife pics" and "naked wife" and the like. A couple of those searchs I wouldn't think of spelling out for you here. Here's hoping they poke around a little when they get here. In fact, if you want more hits for your blog, try stringing together a bunch of buzzwords like those and watch the site meter numbers spin!
I always wonder about those who get here after googling "KKK Robes." Perhaps I should start selling them. Wal-Mart has sheets on sale this week.
One surfer was searching for "Christian Curses" when stumbling in here. Isn't that a little like "Jumbo Shrimp" or "Viking Morality"?
And finally, some find Attention Span by visiting Christian Carnival XCII over at World of Sven's Theology Blog and simply following the link. Ah, the simplicity of it all!
Sadly, as I've mentioned previously, people have been getting here by searching for "nude wife pics" and "naked wife" and the like. A couple of those searchs I wouldn't think of spelling out for you here. Here's hoping they poke around a little when they get here. In fact, if you want more hits for your blog, try stringing together a bunch of buzzwords like those and watch the site meter numbers spin!
I always wonder about those who get here after googling "KKK Robes." Perhaps I should start selling them. Wal-Mart has sheets on sale this week.
One surfer was searching for "Christian Curses" when stumbling in here. Isn't that a little like "Jumbo Shrimp" or "Viking Morality"?
And finally, some find Attention Span by visiting Christian Carnival XCII over at World of Sven's Theology Blog and simply following the link. Ah, the simplicity of it all!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Men Have Sports
It's a sports fan's dream time of year. Baseball playoffs. NFL and college football. NHL. Nextel Cup. Even the NBA preseason and college hoops right around the corner. It's enough to make the ESPN family of networks blow up like a feasting tick. And me, being a man... well, I love it.
I'm not trying to sound sexist because I know there are plenty of women who enjoy sports. There are plenty of men who just don't get into a lot of stick and ball activities also. But for the most part, sports are for men for the simple reason that it is a base language for men of all ages.
For example, there have been many times when I've been in a situation to carry on conversation with men I don't know well. Of course when they find out I'm a pastor, a nervous sweat starts to flow down the nape of the neck of the average guy. So I easily move to Man Language -- sports.
"Did you catch the Notre Dame game last weekend? Some game, huh?"
Now both of us may not have seen any more of that game than the score in the newspaper the next day, but chances are it will begin a conversation which could last as long as necessary (usually until our wives come back into the room). It's a starting point, at the very least. At most it's common ground... a base which the two of us can share.
There are a lot of men who won't give me the time of day when it comes to "any of that God stuff," but if I want to discuss the race last Sunday or the best NFL defense ever (the 1985 Bears, if you must know), then these guys will act like my long-lost relatives. It's a comfort thing. It's non-threatening. It becomes a common language.
I've noticed it with my boys as well. Sure they will talk to me about other things, but we really connect when we talk sports. Their opinion is no better than mine, as our fantasy football team performances clearly show! They appreciate my years of experience plopped on the couch in front of the Game of the Week, and I appreciate their desire to know everything about the game. We can always talk sports. Specifically at our house, it's NFL football, IndyCar racing and occasionally Major League Baseball. Then there's always the teams the boys play for. Sharing a common love for a game, for sports. It was the same with my Dad and myself. My Grandpa too. Sometimes the only thing I could even talk to my Grandpa about was his Dodgers. It was a common language.
Why is it that Christianity cannot be a common language? Maybe because it makes people nervous. Too many strongly held opinions. But then again, have you ever tried to get a Packers fan and a Bears fan to civilly discuss which franchise is better? Hint: put on fireproof underwear and a suit of armor first. Sports fans have strong opinions, but we're not warned to avoid discussing politics, religion and sports, are we?
But people shy away from talking about their faith or lack thereof. I think part of it could be the lack of one vital piece of equipment -- a scoreboard. It isn't obvious enough who the "winners" are. The Christians don't look different enough. We don't intrigue the unbelievers. Our lives don't show the joy we supposedly feel inside. Far too often, there is no proof that we're any better off for showing up in a church building every Sunday morning. We know we're saved, we know we are filled by the Holy Spirit, we know we are to be serving our Master, but our actions make us look like the people who live for material gain and instant pleasure.
Sports is a common language for men. We assume that the other guy has at least a passing interest in sports, but we can't assume that the other person has any kind of interest or even tolerance for Christianity. Christianity isn't a common language because most people rarely see it practiced.
Funny. Jesus said that His disciples would be easy to pick out. We are to be the ones who stand out because of the way we love each other. How sad that we spend our time incognito.
I'm not trying to sound sexist because I know there are plenty of women who enjoy sports. There are plenty of men who just don't get into a lot of stick and ball activities also. But for the most part, sports are for men for the simple reason that it is a base language for men of all ages.
For example, there have been many times when I've been in a situation to carry on conversation with men I don't know well. Of course when they find out I'm a pastor, a nervous sweat starts to flow down the nape of the neck of the average guy. So I easily move to Man Language -- sports.
"Did you catch the Notre Dame game last weekend? Some game, huh?"
Now both of us may not have seen any more of that game than the score in the newspaper the next day, but chances are it will begin a conversation which could last as long as necessary (usually until our wives come back into the room). It's a starting point, at the very least. At most it's common ground... a base which the two of us can share.
There are a lot of men who won't give me the time of day when it comes to "any of that God stuff," but if I want to discuss the race last Sunday or the best NFL defense ever (the 1985 Bears, if you must know), then these guys will act like my long-lost relatives. It's a comfort thing. It's non-threatening. It becomes a common language.
I've noticed it with my boys as well. Sure they will talk to me about other things, but we really connect when we talk sports. Their opinion is no better than mine, as our fantasy football team performances clearly show! They appreciate my years of experience plopped on the couch in front of the Game of the Week, and I appreciate their desire to know everything about the game. We can always talk sports. Specifically at our house, it's NFL football, IndyCar racing and occasionally Major League Baseball. Then there's always the teams the boys play for. Sharing a common love for a game, for sports. It was the same with my Dad and myself. My Grandpa too. Sometimes the only thing I could even talk to my Grandpa about was his Dodgers. It was a common language.
Why is it that Christianity cannot be a common language? Maybe because it makes people nervous. Too many strongly held opinions. But then again, have you ever tried to get a Packers fan and a Bears fan to civilly discuss which franchise is better? Hint: put on fireproof underwear and a suit of armor first. Sports fans have strong opinions, but we're not warned to avoid discussing politics, religion and sports, are we?
But people shy away from talking about their faith or lack thereof. I think part of it could be the lack of one vital piece of equipment -- a scoreboard. It isn't obvious enough who the "winners" are. The Christians don't look different enough. We don't intrigue the unbelievers. Our lives don't show the joy we supposedly feel inside. Far too often, there is no proof that we're any better off for showing up in a church building every Sunday morning. We know we're saved, we know we are filled by the Holy Spirit, we know we are to be serving our Master, but our actions make us look like the people who live for material gain and instant pleasure.
Sports is a common language for men. We assume that the other guy has at least a passing interest in sports, but we can't assume that the other person has any kind of interest or even tolerance for Christianity. Christianity isn't a common language because most people rarely see it practiced.
Funny. Jesus said that His disciples would be easy to pick out. We are to be the ones who stand out because of the way we love each other. How sad that we spend our time incognito.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Good Reads - 10/14/05
I received a lot of good comments on my big church/little church blues post. I have more to clarify as I've continued to toss all that around in my head, so part two will be coming soon. In the meantime, here are some good reads:
Mark Daniels on Dr. James Dobson's political ideas. (A tip of the ol' ballcap to Kevin at Short Attention Span.)
Hammertime on Heresy and The DaVinci Code over at Team Hammer's Musings (part one of a series).
And a site to watch: StupidPastors.com -- The blog description reads: "All the stupid things that pastors and churches do. And names will be changed to protect the stupid." (A tip of the ol' ballcap to Todd at Monday Morning Insight.)
Mark Daniels on Dr. James Dobson's political ideas. (A tip of the ol' ballcap to Kevin at Short Attention Span.)
Hammertime on Heresy and The DaVinci Code over at Team Hammer's Musings (part one of a series).
And a site to watch: StupidPastors.com -- The blog description reads: "All the stupid things that pastors and churches do. And names will be changed to protect the stupid." (A tip of the ol' ballcap to Todd at Monday Morning Insight.)
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Big Church-Little Church Blues
Yesterday I was inside a big church. Not my church, mind you. My church is rural and small. This was a large church I was unfamiliar with. At least I call it a large church. Maybe to you it's just a normal size or a little bit bigger than normal. Some may attend a church that makes this one look tiny. All I know is that my entire church building would fit inside this church's lobby! I had to use a map, complete with a "You Are Here" sticker in order to find the church offices. The coffee shop and bookstore were each closed, but there were around a ka-jillion people dribbling basketballs in the gym.
I wandered the halls, looking for the person I needed to meet. There were a few signs and the aforementioned church map, but I had a hard time figuring out what each of these rooms were for. It reminded me of walking through a school building after hours -- kind of institutional feeling. The facility was obviously built to handle a large number of people. I never even saw the sanctuary or auditorium or whatever a church that size worships corporately in. I can only imagine what that must be like.
As I walked, I have to admit that this small church pastor's mind was filled with covetous thoughts. I saw plenty of things that I wanted to in the back of my truck and bring home. I saw plenty more that I would have needed a crew of building movers and a much bigger truck to take! I thought about the ministry which could be done with facilities the size of the local elementary school. Upward basketball... concerts... recovery groups... all great outreaches. With a physical plant like that, the possibilities are endless, right?
So what do I do with a church that fits in that other church's lobby?
My denominational district meetings were always interesting. My district included a very small church, some churches of around 100 in attendance and some larger ones. The second largest church in the denomination sent over a dozen staff to these meetings. They would each give a report on their own portion of the church's ministry. While some of the reports were occasionally inspiring, for the most part it was like listening to tales of ministry in other countries. When they saw a need a new ministry would begin to meet that need. Volunteers would be found, space in the church building was utilized, and people would be given anything from the Gospel to a cup of cold water in Jesus' name. It was wonderful. I'm sure there were many problems, but that's not what they talked about. Their reports were wonderful stories of ministry making a difference in many different lives.
But I live in a different world. In my world the same handful of people are the volunteers for every church activity. In my world there is no available space on Sunday morning or Wednesday night. In my world we see needs but cannot even hope to meet most of them. We pick a few and do our best, which I guess is what I do as an individual as well.
I think it's natural to harbor some resentment for those who have more than ourselves. The poor resent the middle-class. The middle-class resent the rich. The rich resent the filthy rich. That's part of our materialistic society. But that's not the way it should be in the Church. I hope I never fall into that trap.
But I looked at the coffee shop and bookstore in that big church yesterday and I saw a big pile of money. That pile of money could have been sent to Nicaragua or Sierra Leone or Jamaica or Ecuador or Mauritania and have accomplished much good for the cause of Christ. Instead it goes to make middle to upper class Americans more comfortable being in a church building. Is that really a good trade-off? I can even find waste in my own small church that would be better served building church walls in Central America. Where is that line? What is the proper balance?
Churches are planted where they can reach people who can, in turn, support the church. Meanwhile those folks who could never financially give enough to get a church going fall through the cracks. And large churches who could support such a church plant choose instead to build more classrooms or install new technology in the auditorium.
I've mentioned Mark Waltz's book First Impressions, where he talks about all the "Wow-inspiring" features at his church meant to show visitors that they matter to God. I understand his logic. But at the same time there are thousands of people who need only a thatch roof and mud walls to be shown that they matter to God. And I've come down to the question: How should we be working to show people they matter to God? Is it by pampering them with shuttle buses from the parking lot and discounts on cafe latte? Or should we be encouraging those people to do as John the Baptist told those he baptized:
Is that accomplished at a coffee shop? No. Of course the coffee shop isn't evil, but neglecting those in need is. Sure we're all doing something for those less fortunate, but are we sharing with those who has none?
I'm not sure where I'm going with all this. But I do know that over and over again it is impressed upon me just how much we waste trying to make it easy to be comfortable in a church. But comfortable is the last thing we should be. I see repeated attempts to bring Christ to the pagan suburbanites and precious few tries to show God's love to the people in the low rent district. And it bothers me that, like everyone else around me, I seek to make myself, my congregation and anyone who comes in the church doors, comfortable. The more comfortable we get, the less we grow. Yet we never seem to get it.
Maybe I'm just dealing with middle-class guilt. But it's just not right.
Part Two is here.
Part Three is here.
I wandered the halls, looking for the person I needed to meet. There were a few signs and the aforementioned church map, but I had a hard time figuring out what each of these rooms were for. It reminded me of walking through a school building after hours -- kind of institutional feeling. The facility was obviously built to handle a large number of people. I never even saw the sanctuary or auditorium or whatever a church that size worships corporately in. I can only imagine what that must be like.
As I walked, I have to admit that this small church pastor's mind was filled with covetous thoughts. I saw plenty of things that I wanted to in the back of my truck and bring home. I saw plenty more that I would have needed a crew of building movers and a much bigger truck to take! I thought about the ministry which could be done with facilities the size of the local elementary school. Upward basketball... concerts... recovery groups... all great outreaches. With a physical plant like that, the possibilities are endless, right?
So what do I do with a church that fits in that other church's lobby?
My denominational district meetings were always interesting. My district included a very small church, some churches of around 100 in attendance and some larger ones. The second largest church in the denomination sent over a dozen staff to these meetings. They would each give a report on their own portion of the church's ministry. While some of the reports were occasionally inspiring, for the most part it was like listening to tales of ministry in other countries. When they saw a need a new ministry would begin to meet that need. Volunteers would be found, space in the church building was utilized, and people would be given anything from the Gospel to a cup of cold water in Jesus' name. It was wonderful. I'm sure there were many problems, but that's not what they talked about. Their reports were wonderful stories of ministry making a difference in many different lives.
But I live in a different world. In my world the same handful of people are the volunteers for every church activity. In my world there is no available space on Sunday morning or Wednesday night. In my world we see needs but cannot even hope to meet most of them. We pick a few and do our best, which I guess is what I do as an individual as well.
I think it's natural to harbor some resentment for those who have more than ourselves. The poor resent the middle-class. The middle-class resent the rich. The rich resent the filthy rich. That's part of our materialistic society. But that's not the way it should be in the Church. I hope I never fall into that trap.
But I looked at the coffee shop and bookstore in that big church yesterday and I saw a big pile of money. That pile of money could have been sent to Nicaragua or Sierra Leone or Jamaica or Ecuador or Mauritania and have accomplished much good for the cause of Christ. Instead it goes to make middle to upper class Americans more comfortable being in a church building. Is that really a good trade-off? I can even find waste in my own small church that would be better served building church walls in Central America. Where is that line? What is the proper balance?
Churches are planted where they can reach people who can, in turn, support the church. Meanwhile those folks who could never financially give enough to get a church going fall through the cracks. And large churches who could support such a church plant choose instead to build more classrooms or install new technology in the auditorium.
I've mentioned Mark Waltz's book First Impressions, where he talks about all the "Wow-inspiring" features at his church meant to show visitors that they matter to God. I understand his logic. But at the same time there are thousands of people who need only a thatch roof and mud walls to be shown that they matter to God. And I've come down to the question: How should we be working to show people they matter to God? Is it by pampering them with shuttle buses from the parking lot and discounts on cafe latte? Or should we be encouraging those people to do as John the Baptist told those he baptized:
John answered, "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and
the one who has food should do the same." Tax collectors also came to be baptized. "Teacher," they asked, "what should we do?" "Don't collect any more than you are required to," he told them. Then some soldiers asked him, "And what should we do?" He replied, "Don't extort money and don't accuse people falsely—be content with your pay."
Is that accomplished at a coffee shop? No. Of course the coffee shop isn't evil, but neglecting those in need is. Sure we're all doing something for those less fortunate, but are we sharing with those who has none?
I'm not sure where I'm going with all this. But I do know that over and over again it is impressed upon me just how much we waste trying to make it easy to be comfortable in a church. But comfortable is the last thing we should be. I see repeated attempts to bring Christ to the pagan suburbanites and precious few tries to show God's love to the people in the low rent district. And it bothers me that, like everyone else around me, I seek to make myself, my congregation and anyone who comes in the church doors, comfortable. The more comfortable we get, the less we grow. Yet we never seem to get it.
Maybe I'm just dealing with middle-class guilt. But it's just not right.
Part Two is here.
Part Three is here.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Dressed to Code
The things athletes will say. The National Basketball Association is trying to "dress up" it's image in the corporate world. So, Commissioner David Stern has set down a new rule: Players travelling with the team are to wear shirts with collars, blazers and dress slacks. Maybe even a necktie. Gone are the baggy pants, t-shirts or throwback jerseys at the post-game press conference. Apparently the hip-hop image of the league is hurting it's chances at corporate sponsorship.
This has brought about many stupid remarks by the players. Philadelphia's Allen Iverson claims, "It sends a bad message to kids. If you don't have a suit when you go to school, is your teacher going to think you're a bad kid because you don't have a suit on?" Apparently the do-rags and gangsta clothes must impress the teachers. Right.
But my favorite comes from Marcus Camby, center for the Denver Nuggets. It seems Camby is pleading poverty: "I don't see it happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes." That's right. He thinks the teams should shell out the money so the players can afford to buy dress clothes. The average salary of an NBA player is $4 million a year. This year, Marcus Camby is making $8 million. Maybe he should check the Goodwill Store.
The good news is that this week's Christian Carnival is "come as you are." The 91st edition is up at Matt Jones' blog. Enjoy. No stipend needed.
This has brought about many stupid remarks by the players. Philadelphia's Allen Iverson claims, "It sends a bad message to kids. If you don't have a suit when you go to school, is your teacher going to think you're a bad kid because you don't have a suit on?" Apparently the do-rags and gangsta clothes must impress the teachers. Right.
But my favorite comes from Marcus Camby, center for the Denver Nuggets. It seems Camby is pleading poverty: "I don't see it happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes." That's right. He thinks the teams should shell out the money so the players can afford to buy dress clothes. The average salary of an NBA player is $4 million a year. This year, Marcus Camby is making $8 million. Maybe he should check the Goodwill Store.
The good news is that this week's Christian Carnival is "come as you are." The 91st edition is up at Matt Jones' blog. Enjoy. No stipend needed.
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