It really looks silly. Long here. Short there. But that's the way it's going to be, at least until tomorrow.
I've always liked mowing the lawn. I know I haven't always had the best of luck mowing, but it's one job where you can see your work. Looking out over a freshly cut lawn gives me a sense of satisfaction from a job well done. It looks like I've been working. When I finish reading a book it still looks the same. The lawn looks better... different.
But my lawn doesn't look better. It does look different, but in this case different isn't good. Today the mower gave out part way through the job. It was a free replacement mower after "The Pond Incident" so I can't really complain. But now it won't start until I get a replacement part, and the lawn looks silly. I got a few passes done on the edge and around the house. There there is a stripe down the middle of the front yard where I was cutting when something happened. It reminds me of a football field with the yard lines mowed shorter than the rest of the field. Perhaps I should paint "CARDINALS" at the end and put up a goalpost.
It looks silly. Passersby must think I'm trying to do lawn art of something. It's obvious it's not supposed to look that way. But it does. I like to think of it as a work in progress.
I'm a work in progress too. The Bible even backs me up on that. I'm slowly (very slowly) being conformed to the image of Christ Jesus. But in the meantime, I look silly.
I talk about the need to give every aspect of my life to Him, but I still hold back. I believe that we shouldn't judge the salvation of others, but in my mind I still occasionally find myself doing just that. I tell people to flee temptation, but too often I sit down on the couch with it and enjoy it's company. In short, I am not what I want to be. I am not what I should be. I'm only partially completed. I'm still a work in progress.
When people see me, they may not notice that I'm not finished yet. But I'm sure some can figure it out if they try. I'm still struggling. I'm not perfect. And I hope that people don't see that as hypocrisy because it's not. It's simply failure. I may start out with the intent of mowing the lawn, but after a few passes I tend to give out. And it's only the Mechanic's loving hand that can get me back on the right track.
Someday I'll be completed. I'll have it all together. I won't look like someone should paint a team logo across my chest. But until then, I'll continue to struggle and fail and get up again and lean on the One who can get me through. Then I'll venture off on my own again and fail. Because I'm still a work in progress. And I don't dare forget that.