What’s one thing you have learned to do differently to make your marriage
better? or one thing you think is important to a good marriage?
I occasionally conduct a wedding ceremony, and this bit of advice is always a part of each one. Two words -- be stubborn. Most brides and grooms have no trouble with this bit of advice, but I don't mean it as a blank check to be so caught up in your own self that you refuse to change. What I am talking about is the commitment made by a man and a woman to become one. Leave aside the physical aspects of two becoming one and realize that each newlywed has committed themselves to a married relationship "till death do us part." It is not a temporary deal, but a lifetime contract. Since that is the case, we must be stubborn enough to keep our word to love, honor and cherish... till death do us part.
Far too many people go into marriage with the vision of sticking with it as long as the spouse makes them happy. That's not what was promised. As a husband and a wife, we must be stubborn enough to work through the problems of gaining weight, screaming kids, overdue bills, and too many hours on the job. And if we can be stubborn when it comes to getting what we want, why can't we be stubborn enough to keep our promise? It was a promise made before assembled friends and family and before God, after all.
I'm not sure if I learned this specifically for marriage or not. I've always been one to stick with relationship commitments -- friends, dogs, cats, etc. But like most people, I'm prone to being the most stubborn when it's about me. I don't know when it happened, but I know that sticking with a marriage is about me.
So there you have it. Be stubborn about your marriage. It's worth saving.
5 comments:
I can handle stubborn. For some reason it seems more natural for me than 'resolved' or 'determined'. Why is that, I wonder?
Thanks for the new perspective, Ed!
Most of the time, I'd rather use some other word than stubborn--but then there are times when the only way to make it is to stay stubborn and not give up--ever!
Married for more than 20 years. High moments, low moments. Often the marriage hung together out of sheer inertia. Didn't so much try to understand each other as learn what each other's hot buttons were, and resolve NOT to hit them. We are now so much like one that I can't imagine any other way. We also attempt to do several nice things for each other every day...even if it only freshening up the other's coffee in the morning.
Worked for me. Your mileage may differ.
Just found your blog (I was over at Created For His Glory) --- loving what I see! I can't wait to check out some of your links (in my briefly spare time!)...
Good advice, our attitude towards situations makes all the difference. If divorce is not an option, you're kind of forced to work things out, aren't you? What's even better is... I'm so naturally stubborn already. Yeepee, this should be easy for me! :)
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